By the time I was going to college, ‘going back natural’ was the wave. It was the ‘in thing’ but I still couldn’t get on it. My hair was still short from all my boarding school hair drama and going back natural would just make it shorter. Curly hair would make me look younger than I already did and I wasn’t sure what my curl pattern would even look like.

But the wave was hitting me hard and I had a little new growth. Let me give it a shot, I thought, just to see how it will look, see if it will curl. I had just cut off all my hair and waited so long for it to grow back, so big chop wasn’t an option I was considering at all. I had to do it my way.

Then I met Ray aka @razorempress on IG & YouTube. We were co-captains of the Caribbean dance team at GSU, but little did I know she was actually a hair guru. One night before a party she offered to do my hair for me because of course, I had no idea what I was doing. When she was finished, I was marvelled at the results. I didn’t know my hair could curl like that. That was my introduction to the Denman brush, eco styler gel & using lots of water.

It was a process, finding out what products my hair liked. Trying new products, YouTube videos, twist outs, braid outs and the whole ordeal. I was still bleaching my hair, but I made sure to deep condition every week. At some point, I dyed it red as well. I continued to straighten my hair every now and then because I liked to switch it up. And truth be told, I got the most compliments when my hair was straight. Even then, my curls were still popping and stayed that way for a while till after I graduated college.

After graduation, the dying continued, but the patience and time decreased. I’d stopped allowing my hair to be curly for long periods of time because I was now a working girl and curly hair didn’t help with making me feel or look ‘mature’. I got questions like: “What’d you do to you hair?” (when my hair wasn’t blown out or flat ironed); “Why don’t you comb your hair?”; “Don’t you think it looks better when it’s straight? I think you look more beautiful with straight hair”. So let me get this straight, I don’t look beautiful with the ringlets of hair that are naturally growing out of my head? Mhm, ok. And the irony of it was, a lot of that commentary came from men and other black women.

I had fallen into the trap unknowingly again. Add a little more hair dye to that equation and I was back to curly roots and straight ends. It was either wait or cut the hair. The only way to bring back the curls quickly was to cut.

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It’s 5 months later and I’ve probably only straightened my hair twice in this entire period. Right now, I know what products work for my hair and what don’t. I’m still experimenting with new products and trying new things. Will I ever straighten my hair again? Yes. Will I ever dye my hair again? Of course. But the important thing is not to overdo it, do what works for me and to continue to care for my hair while I’m doing whatever it is that I do.

In all of this, I’m proud to say I haven’t chemically relaxed my hair since the summer of 2016.

As I said, this natural hair thing is a process. It is really a ‘journey’ of self-love and getting to know yourself and your hair. There are always people who are going to tell you they prefer when your hair is straight. But, there will always be people who tell you they love your curls. There will always be people who tell you all kinds of things to discourage you or make you feel bad, knowingly and unknowingly. But, the hair that is growing out of your scalp is beautiful.

How ever you choose to care for your hair is obviously up to you and your prerogative, but, if you’re holding back from going natural because you’re afraid of not being beautiful enough, looking ‘professional’ enough, thinking your hair is too thick or your curls aren’t loose enough, none of that is true and you should just go for it. It’s a lot of work, natural hair is a lot of work, but there’s something about it that makes you feel so good knowing that that’s your hair and you’re doing the damn thing.

If you haven’t read part 1, check it out here.