Dear Black Woman,

We all experience it – the emotional and often physical trauma. Unfortunately, many will not believe you,  for reasons far beyond even their comprehension. They may even tell you it’s your fault. But it isn’t. I promise. Don’t be embarrassed. Speak your truth; it happened to you; it is yours to tell.

Don’t allow people to tell you how to react or how you should have reacted to a situation they themselves were never in.

Doing whatever you have to do to sustain yourself is your business and your business only. Your body is a temple, and you determine what you do with it. Don’t let anyone shame you for your decisions.

Dear Black Woman,

Your skin glistens in the sun like no other. Every single curve was perfectly placed. The dimply legs, the stretch-marked bottom, the puffy hair, the little pouch around your mid-section – Embrace them.

The world wants us to believe that we have to tame ourselves, our hair, our voices, our figures to be acceptable. But then we see others seeking to imitate us, our beauty, our skin, the way we talk, the way we carry ourselves. This world has caused us to confuse our perceived dependence on people with their dependence on us.

Let them earn your trust. Pay attention. Jealousy is real so don’t ever let anyone tell you, you can’t. You are more than capable.

There is no need to feel threatened by a powerful woman. You don’t have to tear someone down to lift yourself up.

Love intensely. But be careful, people will take advantage of it.

Dear Black Woman,

You don’t have to be there for everybody. You are not a saviour.

You don’t always have to be strong and composed. Vulnerability is strength. Life should not always have to be hard for you, nor should you wish to endure such hardship. It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to walk away. It doesn’t mean you have given up; it means you’ve finally realised you no longer want nor need a situation.

Dear Black Woman,

You are not angry; you never were.

Others have misunderstood your plight and your struggles for so long that they deem you shrewd when you finally lash out. You are misjudged, not angry.

The strength in your voice intimidates them; the calmness in your tone makes them uncomfortable. No matter, though, be who you are. Be yourself.

You are not too much. You are not too loud. You are more than enough for the right people.

Raise your hand in the classroom. Answer the questions. Challenge your peers. Go for that big position, fight for it. Start the business. BE the boss. Write the book, the script or the tv series. Make your voice heard in a room full of men. Don’t you dare let them interrupt you when you are speaking. Never be afraid to shine. You are bright.

Stand your ground. Do not be apprehensive about expressing yourself. Your standards do not make you difficult or hard to deal with; they are standards; they are meant to quality check.

Dear Black Woman,

Always remember it’s alright to ask for help. Everyone needs help, even us.

Self-betterment is always a good thing; don’t run from it.

Our daughters must know that they are beautiful, worthy and that they are enough. So, we must personify that.

Dear Black Woman,

Hold your head high. Chin up. Back straight. Shoulders square, eyes forward. You are everything and more.

You deserve happiness.

Yours truly,

A Black Woman.