I had never been exposed to going to the gym before or actively trying to stay in shape. But, I hated how I felt when everyone talked about my weight, so I decided to do something about it. I had to start making some changes. I had to learn; I had to start from scratch.

I say all of this to say, although I am much slimmer now, funnily enough, due to stress, and am still trying to eat better and exercise somewhat consistently, I know how the cycle goes. The ‘eat-pression’ cycle is what I call it. You’re sad or depressed, so you eat. The more you eat, the more you begin to feel depressed about how much you’re eating and the weight you’re gaining. But you’re still sad, so you continue to eat. You might even muster up the courage to get to the gym or start home workouts a couple of days a week, but of course, these things take time and you might not be seeing that much change in your body. You feel more sadness, fall off track and begin the bad eating habits again. It’s not laziness. According to the Oxford dictionary, laziness is defined as “the quality of being unwilling to work or use energy”. But, you’re not unwilling. Most of the time you want to exercise, but for some reason, you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

There’s no magic formula to break that cycle, but I have done some things to help get myself out of it. Firstly, recognize that regardless of what you may have heard or think, you don’t have to go on a diet in which you completely cut out carbohydrates or all fats or all sugars. I genuinely think cutting whole food groups out of your diet is quite ridiculous. Some carbs, fats and sugars are actually good for you.

If your favourite meal is fried chicken, cutting fried chicken out of your diet is almost defeating yourself from the start. Now, I’m not saying you should eat fried chicken once or twice a week, or whenever you crave it. I’m just saying don’t prevent yourself from having it ever. I think it’s a psychological thing: the moment we tell ourselves or someone tells us we ‘can’t’ have something is when we start wanting it the most. Cut down the fried chicken to once a month or even once every two months. You’ll be surprised that after a while, you might not even miss it that much.

Start small, every day – drink more water (2 litres), walk for at least a half-hour, no soda and juice should be natural. I know I said I don’t like the idea of cutting things out of one’s diet, but the really, really, really bad stuff, should go. For example, I stopped eating McDonald’s, Taco Bell and Burger King. But not all fast foods are bad. The ones where the animals are not grass-fed or left outside in open pastures are the bad ones. And that is, unfortunately, a product of the Industrial food complex, but that’s another story.

So, that’s your starting point, if you don’t know where to start. That’s it, no instant fix, no grand scheme, just walk & water. Then you can step it up, to gym, yoga, Zumba or whatever physical activity you choose. (I’ll share some of the ,things I did that actively helped me to get back to feeling good in myself.)

And finally, there are two essential things I’ve learned throughout this. First, people will always have something to say, believe it or not. If you lose a lot of weight, there will be people who tell you that you look too skinny. So, your goal should always be health and getting to a healthy weight. You just have to do you and know what will make you happy and feel good in your own skin. And the truth is, half those people giving negative commentary probably have self-esteem issues and image and weight complexes themselves anyway. Come up with a rebuttal that forces the other person to stand in your shoes. If someone insists on telling you, you look fat, hit them with an “Oh my goodness, you know, I was just thinking the same about you.” Trust me, their attitude will change real quick.

The second essential thing is don’t obsess about it. I know it may seem difficult, but do not obsess. The minute you start to worry incessantly about how much pounds you’re losing or gaining each day or week is: 1. when you may not see any results and 2. frankly not sustainable and eventually leads to frustration. Just do what you know you need to do, hold yourself accountable! But, take your time and don’t watch the scale. When you start seeing results, then you can kick it up a notch.

If you haven’t read Part 1, check it out.